


The Pole-Dancing Jedi

by LadyLustful



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Amputee Anakin Skywalker, Gen, Minor Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Palpatine dies and there is much rejoicing, Pole Dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 02:41:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21810064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLustful/pseuds/LadyLustful
Summary: Skywalker brings balance, loses some limbs, and learns a new thing. Cracky fixit
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	The Pole-Dancing Jedi

Red light - and his limbs are gone, his lightsaber somewhere behind the Sith, clattering on the smooth floor. Obi-wan is lying at the base of the wall, thrown there like a rag doll, still out. And Palpatine, well, Palpatine seems crazier by the minute.  
"And now, Skywalker, you will die!" proclaims the Sith and straight up cackles.  
And Anakin pulls his sword up to him with the force, igniting it. The Sith Lord falls dead. And the deactivated lightsaber hits Anakin in the temple, knocking him out.  
  
Weeks later: "I'm fine, Snips. It'll take me some rehabilitation and some tinkering before they feel like they're mine again, but I'm ok. I saved Obi-Wan. I saved Mace. I saved Padme and the twins. I killed Palpatine. I brought balance, apparently."  
"How are they?"  
"Obi-Wan's out of bacta too, you should go see him. Mace is complaining about his cybernetic eye, I never knew a council member was allowed to use such words. Yoda's groaning about how his "old bones" haven't hurt this much in literal ages. "Too old to be thrown out of buildings, I am. No consideration, the Sith had." Enough about us, how have you been Snips?"  
"Well, I'm a pole dance instructor now..."  
"Pole dance? Isn't it a little too... dirty?"  
"Only if you want it to be, Skyguy. Most of my customers just want a good workout. Actually, maybe you could try it, it might be good for physical therapy."  
"I'll come. If only to check you aren't getting perved on by people not good enough for you."  
  
So, as soon as he is released from the healers, he comes to a small converted garage place where persons of 16 different species, mostly female, learn to dance. It's awkward - both in a physical, getting used to new limbs ways, and a more subtle one related to seeing strangers in a setting that might have been sexual but isn't.  
And once he gets past the awkward it's fun - mastering a new physical activity, being good at it, the slight thrill of doing something that would probably cause most Jedi to at the very least look on in stunned disbelief. Somewhere along the line, he notices three of the girls - dark blue Twi'lek, brown human, a Zabrak brighter orange than Ahsoka with about a pound of piercings - stop their own excercise and stare at him, and damn it feels good to show off.  
"That's Skyguy for you, girls", Ahsoka says. "My old master is pretty much the funnest Jedi ever."  
  
And if he feels his whole body protesting afterwards, his new limbs squeaking oddly - well, that's nothing a good tune-up and hot bath won't take care of. He might actually consider making it a career if they throw him out of the Jedi.


End file.
